Thursday, August 7, 2014 @
oh, that all my cares, needs, burdens may be only in prayer, that all my conversation and communication be only praise.
Thursday, July 24, 2014 @ musings in japan
short and curt over messages
friendly and encouraging, watching out for me
kind and helpful over phone and email
the biggest bully i ever met
what paradox we find in this life
things that we can never understand
how people can believe there is no Creator
for things so amazing, so perfectly designed
for things so delicate yet so strong
how people can say they follow Christ
yet detached from His word is their life
they eat and drink and find abandonment
"this is a lifestyle and not religion"
did they know the scripture says
be sober, be vigilant; watch and pray
then will they know it is the last days
and He will come for me maybe today
indeed i probably would never have eaten all that kind of food and had those experiences if not for this trip. I thank God for His marvellous provision all the way leading up to this trip, His unfailing presence and preservation throughout this trip, and continued sustenance even now in the post-trip trauma. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
friendly and encouraging, watching out for me
kind and helpful over phone and email
the biggest bully i ever met
what paradox we find in this life
things that we can never understand
how people can believe there is no Creator
for things so amazing, so perfectly designed
for things so delicate yet so strong
how people can say they follow Christ
yet detached from His word is their life
they eat and drink and find abandonment
"this is a lifestyle and not religion"
did they know the scripture says
be sober, be vigilant; watch and pray
then will they know it is the last days
and He will come for me maybe today
indeed i probably would never have eaten all that kind of food and had those experiences if not for this trip. I thank God for His marvellous provision all the way leading up to this trip, His unfailing presence and preservation throughout this trip, and continued sustenance even now in the post-trip trauma. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Thursday, July 3, 2014 @ fish tales
i just thought of some nonsense i can share on this blog :D i have a fighting fish in office called "ham4ji1" cos he is so timid. it is a he cos he makes bubble nests.
the story started with a moss ball with pretty coloured stones in a glass jar. "so cute!" i exclaimed and i became the designated maintenance agent. she was called jane, and sits with my air plants peter and john near the window.
i have plenty of sunlight, so algae started growing. one day, someone said "you should get a sucker fish to clean the algae". another fine day, i was at bishan park office and saw someone's extra oto/catfish neglected in a small container, so i adopted it! it looked like a huge ikan bilis. that was the first time i ever kept any swimming creatures. after much googling, i realize that my habitat is not good for it as that fish is very shy and prefers lots of corners to hide in. there was nowhere to hide behind the moss ball. so i stuck in some money plant to create some hiding places. after a while, there was not much algae to eat, so i started feeding it microwaved cucumber :)
however, one day, i saw it near the surface of the water - it was panting quite badly and looked like it was struggling. i was afraid it did not have enough oxygen as my jar did not have an air pump, so i quickly told jilun and kun han my fish buddies and evacuated it to their tank. they were more than happy to receive it as they tanks were in need of major cleaning. in exchange for the oto fish they offered me a fighting fish which would be able to tolerate my small jar with no air pump. they accidentally caught 2 of the fishes in the net so they gave me 2 fighting fishes, but the big one started bullying the small one round and round in the jar. so i caught the big one and punished it in a small tupperware and returned it to the owner, leaving me with the smaller one with tattered fins after much bullying by all the other bigger fish. in no time, with no fish to bully, and with a pretty jane to accompany, his fins grew back into the nice and pretty purple which matches my african violet next to the jar :D (more about violet next time)
next i added a water plant. and once again algae started growing.
so i borrowed a snail from my friends. it was huge - as big as hamji (that striped thingie partially hidden by roots). it did a good job cleaning the jar, but i think hamji and the snail are not friends. during this period of time both of them took turns to evacuate the jar. hamji almost died after jumping out of the jar into the dustbin one night :/
i will continue the story in the next post. stay tuned! :D
the story started with a moss ball with pretty coloured stones in a glass jar. "so cute!" i exclaimed and i became the designated maintenance agent. she was called jane, and sits with my air plants peter and john near the window.
i have plenty of sunlight, so algae started growing. one day, someone said "you should get a sucker fish to clean the algae". another fine day, i was at bishan park office and saw someone's extra oto/catfish neglected in a small container, so i adopted it! it looked like a huge ikan bilis. that was the first time i ever kept any swimming creatures. after much googling, i realize that my habitat is not good for it as that fish is very shy and prefers lots of corners to hide in. there was nowhere to hide behind the moss ball. so i stuck in some money plant to create some hiding places. after a while, there was not much algae to eat, so i started feeding it microwaved cucumber :)
however, one day, i saw it near the surface of the water - it was panting quite badly and looked like it was struggling. i was afraid it did not have enough oxygen as my jar did not have an air pump, so i quickly told jilun and kun han my fish buddies and evacuated it to their tank. they were more than happy to receive it as they tanks were in need of major cleaning. in exchange for the oto fish they offered me a fighting fish which would be able to tolerate my small jar with no air pump. they accidentally caught 2 of the fishes in the net so they gave me 2 fighting fishes, but the big one started bullying the small one round and round in the jar. so i caught the big one and punished it in a small tupperware and returned it to the owner, leaving me with the smaller one with tattered fins after much bullying by all the other bigger fish. in no time, with no fish to bully, and with a pretty jane to accompany, his fins grew back into the nice and pretty purple which matches my african violet next to the jar :D (more about violet next time)
next i added a water plant. and once again algae started growing.
so i borrowed a snail from my friends. it was huge - as big as hamji (that striped thingie partially hidden by roots). it did a good job cleaning the jar, but i think hamji and the snail are not friends. during this period of time both of them took turns to evacuate the jar. hamji almost died after jumping out of the jar into the dustbin one night :/
i will continue the story in the next post. stay tuned! :D
Friday, June 27, 2014 @ Break the trend
I am writing this post just to break the trend. Blogger is now able to show the stats for your blog, and it is totally not required for mine. Probably nobody will ever read this blog anymore except myself when I remember, but every time I read my blog it has always been immensely interesting to see how I have changed, some for the better, some for the worse. It is queerly fascinating to be able to read my own thoughts from the past.
So many things have changed I do not know where to start from. i just realized i was writing in formal caps and sentences like an email - stop it. only when i saw my blog entry then i realized the turmoil i felt during my masters. i can recall my struggles, but no longer feel it the way it was described in my entry. that was the grey period, learning to have faith without sight. i miss not documenting as much as i did in the past - now i cannot trace how God has changed me in the past 2 years. from the school to the battlefield. now that i have gotten past the grey period, i feel like a totally different person. no longer so neat. no longer so organized. no longer a plant-killer. no longer a dog-only-lover. no longer…
able to think. maybe that is why i stopped blogging. try again another day.
So many things have changed I do not know where to start from. i just realized i was writing in formal caps and sentences like an email - stop it. only when i saw my blog entry then i realized the turmoil i felt during my masters. i can recall my struggles, but no longer feel it the way it was described in my entry. that was the grey period, learning to have faith without sight. i miss not documenting as much as i did in the past - now i cannot trace how God has changed me in the past 2 years. from the school to the battlefield. now that i have gotten past the grey period, i feel like a totally different person. no longer so neat. no longer so organized. no longer a plant-killer. no longer a dog-only-lover. no longer…
able to think. maybe that is why i stopped blogging. try again another day.
Sunday, January 8, 2012 @ the week
the last week of holidays, the first week of 2012.
thank God for the much blessed time of fellowship with kz, ss, susanna, jo, enli, fangyu, jema etc.
Pro 25:25 As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
my heart has been much gladdened and refreshed by these cold waters, hearing of God's goodness and mercy in the lives of many of my brethren, sharing our burdens one with another and finding unexpected solace and comfort in mutual understanding.
thank God for the new night class on "The Names of God". thank God for the many reminders to bring me back to an intimate walk with Him. To know Him only as He reveals Himself, and not as we imagine Him to be. For our corrupt mind can only corrupt the image of God and create idols unto ourselves. Thank God for revealing Himself, for letting us know Him.
How excellent is Thy Name, O Lord,
How excellent is Thy Name!
Heaven and earth together proclaim:
How excellent is Thy Name!
Psa 8
O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.
Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.
When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?
For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:
All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field;
The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.
O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!
thank God for the much blessed time of fellowship with kz, ss, susanna, jo, enli, fangyu, jema etc.
Pro 25:25 As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
my heart has been much gladdened and refreshed by these cold waters, hearing of God's goodness and mercy in the lives of many of my brethren, sharing our burdens one with another and finding unexpected solace and comfort in mutual understanding.
thank God for the new night class on "The Names of God". thank God for the many reminders to bring me back to an intimate walk with Him. To know Him only as He reveals Himself, and not as we imagine Him to be. For our corrupt mind can only corrupt the image of God and create idols unto ourselves. Thank God for revealing Himself, for letting us know Him.
How excellent is Thy Name, O Lord,
How excellent is Thy Name!
Heaven and earth together proclaim:
How excellent is Thy Name!
Psa 8
O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.
Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.
When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?
For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:
All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field;
The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.
O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!
Thursday, January 5, 2012 @ a timely reminder
A Wonderful Guarantee
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
WHEN called to serve or to suffer, we take stock of our strength, and we find it to be less than we thought and less than we need. But let not our heart sink within us while we have such a word as this to fall back upon, for it guarantees us all that we can possibly need. God has strength omnipotent; that strength He can communicate to us; and His promise is that He will do so. He will be the food of our souls and the health of our hearts; and thus He will give us strength. There is no telling how much power God can put into a man. When divine strength comes, human weakness is no more a hindrance.
Do we not remember seasons of labor and trial in which we received such special strength that we wondered at ourselves? In the midst of danger we were calm, under bereavement we were resigned, in slander we were self-contained, and in sickness we were patient. The fact is that God gives unexpected strength when unusual trials come upon us, We rise out of our feeble selves. Cowards play the man, foolish ones have wisdom given them, and the silent receive in the self-same hour what they shall speak. My own weakness makes me shrink, but God’s promise makes me brave. LORD, strengthen me “according to thy word.”
Faith's Checkbook By C.H. Spurgeon
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
WHEN called to serve or to suffer, we take stock of our strength, and we find it to be less than we thought and less than we need. But let not our heart sink within us while we have such a word as this to fall back upon, for it guarantees us all that we can possibly need. God has strength omnipotent; that strength He can communicate to us; and His promise is that He will do so. He will be the food of our souls and the health of our hearts; and thus He will give us strength. There is no telling how much power God can put into a man. When divine strength comes, human weakness is no more a hindrance.
Do we not remember seasons of labor and trial in which we received such special strength that we wondered at ourselves? In the midst of danger we were calm, under bereavement we were resigned, in slander we were self-contained, and in sickness we were patient. The fact is that God gives unexpected strength when unusual trials come upon us, We rise out of our feeble selves. Cowards play the man, foolish ones have wisdom given them, and the silent receive in the self-same hour what they shall speak. My own weakness makes me shrink, but God’s promise makes me brave. LORD, strengthen me “according to thy word.”
Faith's Checkbook By C.H. Spurgeon
Friday, December 23, 2011 @
i had a late start to the day because i woke up late, because i slept late last night, because i had a night of disaster in the kitchen. 4 batches of failed muffins, that's 1 kg of flour, and untasty breakfast for the nxt month.
but queerly, i'm in a rather good mood, and feeling a little surreal. the baking-for-Christmas plans are cancelled, so i suddenly find free time on my hands to relax, and just wait for the bbq tonight.
now there are so many avenues for me to write/speak my thoughts that i no longer know what/who to turn to. there's this blog, there's my own log, there's our shared log, and there's emails to friends. sometimes i think maybe i should abandon this blog. but it's nice to have this space to shout out nonsensical and trifle things to nobody in particular. the logs are for more serious and significant discussions usually. doesn't help that i now trace pretty pictures on tumblr, and i've suddenly lost all passion for taking photos, so i no longer produce nice photo albums to upload here to keep friends in the know of what i'm up to. so what can i still put in this blog?
i've always been charmed by poetry. recently i've been reading Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, and i was very tickled by how his author's words to the reader is always in poetry. and there were some really nice imagery too. i love how poems frames and adorns certain thoughts and emotions. i'm now in the midst of reading this book on Marriage, which expounds from the Song of Solomon. the author also mentioned how true love, which is so hard to define and pin down in a scientific way, is described in poetry in the Song of Solomon. indeed, i always find poetry stronger in communicating many things, because many things in life are not single-dimensional. i really wish i could talk in poetry like Bunyan. i was wondering how i could hone this skill, and keene brought up that hymns are exactly that too! i think i need more guitar sessions. and maybe this space can become practice for my rhyming efforts!
we're nearing the end of yet another year. i started keeping a blog since 2004. this means i've been blogging for 7+years! the details recorded in those fine print are really amazing. i see myself in my childishness in JC, even in JC! now i understand why those sec1 kids are like that! i also see my writing improving, becoming more lyrical. I see my spiritual man growing. there was that detailed record of the change from Singapore to Melbourne. the changing personality, realizing what is important. the constant struggle ever since i came back to Singapore. however it can be a rather inaccurate view of my times, cos i tend to blog when i have photos of recent events, or when i want to lash out at something or things. hardly do i have the chance to blog about little joys. but i do notice myself becoming less thankful. i wonder what will become of this blog. i wonder who still reads it.
but queerly, i'm in a rather good mood, and feeling a little surreal. the baking-for-Christmas plans are cancelled, so i suddenly find free time on my hands to relax, and just wait for the bbq tonight.
now there are so many avenues for me to write/speak my thoughts that i no longer know what/who to turn to. there's this blog, there's my own log, there's our shared log, and there's emails to friends. sometimes i think maybe i should abandon this blog. but it's nice to have this space to shout out nonsensical and trifle things to nobody in particular. the logs are for more serious and significant discussions usually. doesn't help that i now trace pretty pictures on tumblr, and i've suddenly lost all passion for taking photos, so i no longer produce nice photo albums to upload here to keep friends in the know of what i'm up to. so what can i still put in this blog?
i've always been charmed by poetry. recently i've been reading Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, and i was very tickled by how his author's words to the reader is always in poetry. and there were some really nice imagery too. i love how poems frames and adorns certain thoughts and emotions. i'm now in the midst of reading this book on Marriage, which expounds from the Song of Solomon. the author also mentioned how true love, which is so hard to define and pin down in a scientific way, is described in poetry in the Song of Solomon. indeed, i always find poetry stronger in communicating many things, because many things in life are not single-dimensional. i really wish i could talk in poetry like Bunyan. i was wondering how i could hone this skill, and keene brought up that hymns are exactly that too! i think i need more guitar sessions. and maybe this space can become practice for my rhyming efforts!
we're nearing the end of yet another year. i started keeping a blog since 2004. this means i've been blogging for 7+years! the details recorded in those fine print are really amazing. i see myself in my childishness in JC, even in JC! now i understand why those sec1 kids are like that! i also see my writing improving, becoming more lyrical. I see my spiritual man growing. there was that detailed record of the change from Singapore to Melbourne. the changing personality, realizing what is important. the constant struggle ever since i came back to Singapore. however it can be a rather inaccurate view of my times, cos i tend to blog when i have photos of recent events, or when i want to lash out at something or things. hardly do i have the chance to blog about little joys. but i do notice myself becoming less thankful. i wonder what will become of this blog. i wonder who still reads it.