neverending

the week

2012-01-08T00:18:00.002+11:00

the last week of holidays, the first week of 2012.
thank God for the much blessed time of fellowship with kz, ss, susanna, jo, enli, fangyu, jema etc.
Pro 25:25 As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
my heart has been much gladdened and refreshed by these cold waters, hearing of God's goodness and mercy in the lives of many of my brethren, sharing our burdens one with another and finding unexpected solace and comfort in mutual understanding.
thank God for the new night class on "The Names of God". thank God for the many reminders to bring me back to an intimate walk with Him. To know Him only as He reveals Himself, and not as we imagine Him to be. For our corrupt mind can only corrupt the image of God and create idols unto ourselves. Thank God for revealing Himself, for letting us know Him.

How excellent is Thy Name, O Lord,
How excellent is Thy Name!
Heaven and earth together proclaim:
How excellent is Thy Name!

Psa 8
O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.
Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.
When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?
For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:
All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field;
The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.
O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!

a timely reminder

2012-01-05T12:58:00.000+11:00

A Wonderful Guarantee

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

WHEN called to serve or to suffer, we take stock of our strength, and we find it to be less than we thought and less than we need. But let not our heart sink within us while we have such a word as this to fall back upon, for it guarantees us all that we can possibly need. God has strength omnipotent; that strength He can communicate to us; and His promise is that He will do so. He will be the food of our souls and the health of our hearts; and thus He will give us strength. There is no telling how much power God can put into a man. When divine strength comes, human weakness is no more a hindrance.

Do we not remember seasons of labor and trial in which we received such special strength that we wondered at ourselves? In the midst of danger we were calm, under bereavement we were resigned, in slander we were self-contained, and in sickness we were patient. The fact is that God gives unexpected strength when unusual trials come upon us, We rise out of our feeble selves. Cowards play the man, foolish ones have wisdom given them, and the silent receive in the self-same hour what they shall speak. My own weakness makes me shrink, but God’s promise makes me brave. LORD, strengthen me “according to thy word.”

Faith's Checkbook By C.H. Spurgeon

2011-12-23T16:06:00.003+11:00

i had a late start to the day because i woke up late, because i slept late last night, because i had a night of disaster in the kitchen. 4 batches of failed muffins, that's 1 kg of flour, and untasty breakfast for the nxt month.
but queerly, i'm in a rather good mood, and feeling a little surreal. the baking-for-Christmas plans are cancelled, so i suddenly find free time on my hands to relax, and just wait for the bbq tonight.

now there are so many avenues for me to write/speak my thoughts that i no longer know what/who to turn to. there's this blog, there's my own log, there's our shared log, and there's emails to friends. sometimes i think maybe i should abandon this blog. but it's nice to have this space to shout out nonsensical and trifle things to nobody in particular. the logs are for more serious and significant discussions usually. doesn't help that i now trace pretty pictures on tumblr, and i've suddenly lost all passion for taking photos, so i no longer produce nice photo albums to upload here to keep friends in the know of what i'm up to. so what can i still put in this blog?

i've always been charmed by poetry. recently i've been reading Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan, and i was very tickled by how his author's words to the reader is always in poetry. and there were some really nice imagery too. i love how poems frames and adorns certain thoughts and emotions. i'm now in the midst of reading this book on Marriage, which expounds from the Song of Solomon. the author also mentioned how true love, which is so hard to define and pin down in a scientific way, is described in poetry in the Song of Solomon. indeed, i always find poetry stronger in communicating many things, because many things in life are not single-dimensional. i really wish i could talk in poetry like Bunyan. i was wondering how i could hone this skill, and keene brought up that hymns are exactly that too! i think i need more guitar sessions. and maybe this space can become practice for my rhyming efforts!

we're nearing the end of yet another year. i started keeping a blog since 2004. this means i've been blogging for 7+years! the details recorded in those fine print are really amazing. i see myself in my childishness in JC, even in JC! now i understand why those sec1 kids are like that! i also see my writing improving, becoming more lyrical. I see my spiritual man growing. there was that detailed record of the change from Singapore to Melbourne. the changing personality, realizing what is important. the constant struggle ever since i came back to Singapore. however it can be a rather inaccurate view of my times, cos i tend to blog when i have photos of recent events, or when i want to lash out at something or things. hardly do i have the chance to blog about little joys. but i do notice myself becoming less thankful. i wonder what will become of this blog. i wonder who still reads it.

inspiration

2011-12-13T19:41:00.003+11:00

i've been out of it for too long. the things that used to give me pleasure in the past no longer entice me.
i used to sit at my piano and play for hours.
now, i play it still, but like a robot, without emotions.
i used to hold a camera with excitement, taking pictures with enthusiasm.
now, i still like looking at pretty pictures, but they are beyond me.

i don't know what happened. when did my sky suddenly become grey? when did my days become so drab?
now i take days just to make a card.
now i've lost confidence in my style/taste, if i had any of it to begin with.
ah, to live life like a musical, full of the passion and the zest of life.
oh, for the veil to be lifted, that i may see the glory i should live for.

what shall i do with this thing called creativity? where did i get it from, and where has it gone to?

post KJV 400th Anniversary

2011-11-01T02:22:00.003+11:00

hymns that never fail to lift me up.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

119:89 For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven.
119:90 Thy faithfulness is unto all generations: thou hast established the earth, and it abideth.
119:91 They continue this day according to thine ordinances: for all are thy servants.
119:92 Unless thy law had been my delights, I should then have perished in mine affliction.
119:93 I will never forget thy precepts: for with them thou hast quickened me.
119:94 I am thine, save me; for I have sought thy precepts.
119:95 The wicked have waited for me to destroy me: but I will consider thy testimonies.
119:96 I have seen an end of all perfection: but thy commandment is exceeding broad.

Standing on the promises of Christ my King,
Through eternal ages let His praises ring,
Glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,
Standing on the promises of God.

Refrain:
Standing, standing,
Standing on the promises of God my Savior;
Standing, standing,
I’m standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises I now can see
Perfect, present cleansing in the blood for me;
Standing in the liberty where Christ makes free,
Standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises of Christ the Lord,
Bound to Him eternally by love’s strong cord,
Overcoming daily with the Spirit’s sword,
Standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
List’ning every moment to the Spirit’s call,
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.

a collection of thoughts

2011-10-30T01:10:00.002+11:00

never been so exhausted from dinner before. my hands feel soggy. a million multitasking to do. a sense of futility.

i was consumed. i have nightmares of presentation. i dream about work. when i wake up it is still there, unfinished. burnt out.

so easily sucked into the cycle of vanity. so quickly forsaking my peace and my freedom.

the more you care, the more upset you get. the oxymoron called love. but imperfect love. because charity beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things.. how far from the mark i am. it's amazing to learn about love.

when time management is not just about managing your own time anymore. it's frustrating, it chains you 24/7, it terrorizes you. how i envy those who are able to let go, and not be so responsible.

it's a spiritual warfare. caught in the midst thereof, it feels like you're in a whirlpool. one moment you are up, another moment tossed in confusion. the helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, belt of truth, shoes of gospel of peace, shield of faith, sword of the Spirit. the Word of God, quick and powerful, a discerner of the thoughts and intents of our heart. let us experience thy quickening and thy power.

Him and me

2011-09-11T22:26:00.003+10:00

When you feel weakest, dangers surround,
Subtle temptations, troubles abound,
Nothing seems hopeful, nothing seems glad.
All is despairing ; oftentimes sad.

Refrain:
Keep on believing, Jesus is near.
Keep on believing, there’s nothing to fear ;
Keep on believing, this is the way :
Faith in the night as well as the day.

If all were easy, if all were bright.
Where would the cross be ? where would the fight ?
But in the hardness God gives to you
Chances of proving what He can do.

God is your wisdom, God is your might ;
God’s ever near you, guiding the right ;
He understands you, knows all you need ;
Trusting in Him you’ll surely succeed.

still one of my favourite songs.
precious are the little snippets of memory from melbourne.
the first day i woke up in a strange country, beginning to know God's presence ever with me. the night with a deafening silence, the spacious empty room in the suburbs.
the pouring rain in which i met shulin, who brought me to drummond st, and ss, the first person to greet me when i enter the hall.
at 422 collins street, with ian and glenn helping to fix my ikea table, when my neighbour came to my apartment to climb over to his apartment cos he forgot his keys.
those mornings just conversing with God. those nights listening to the distant music in the alleys.
that special bday. a takeaway dinner each at that white round table, a relief from my distraught design.
precious friends who care enough to put down all to come, with snacks and jokes, to cheer and to lift.
making soya bean milk with linjiejie!
bedbugs :(
the guitar sessions before i moved to the shoebox at 200 latrobe street.
my tiny cosy little room. the struggles at night for my essays, on bended knees, teary eyes.
the mushroom broccoli for dinners and love-packed snacks when i go to the airport.
shingles and the fruitful (literally) week of recovery.
arrow on swanston. the cleaning nightmare ewwwww
my little blue room, my wall of messages, from my friends and my God
the weary nights, singspiration at bible study, a common strength when we are weary, a common hope for tomorrow, a common joy in the truth of God's Word
the times of intimacy, when it was just me and God, in the wee hours, in blessed quietness, me and my God
the times of learning, the times of growing, when His Word became life to me
starting my day in uni, the sunlight streaming through those huge windows, the email devotion preparing me for the day ahead, each moment drawing strength and breath from Him.
each moment it was just Him and me.
why is it so different now?

KTM aftermath

2011-08-26T00:48:00.006+10:00

i realised i haven't blogged photos abt all these walks we have been having on the rail corridor. cos i don't plan to make web albums for my fieldtrips anymore so these are kinda loose and hard to keep track of.

credit: sya, one of 5 of us who walked the north part of the tracks one very hot morning to afternoon -_-

2011-07-31T19:58:00.002+10:00

In times like these you need a Savior
In times like these you need an anchor;
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

tempestous times. when faith is tossed about, and you start wondering about many things. quick decisive action is required but u are tossed to and fro on the ship caught in the storm. only Jesus can still the storm.

Still, with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm. there is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God, where we can flee to Jesus for refuge and be hidden in the cleft of the rock. what a wonderful provision of God if only we would avail ourselves of them.

scandinavia tour

2011-07-12T18:59:00.006+10:00

12 days.
4 countries.
over air, land and sea.

some record breakers -
i've never watched so many movies in such a short period of time before. cos flight time = movie marathon time for me cos i can't be bothered wasting $ and time to watch them usually. '127 hours', finished watching 'Cars' on the flight there, watched 'The Terminal' and 'The Devil Wears Prada' during the boring coach rides, and then 'Transporter II', 'Inception', 'Bolt' on the flight back.

and i've never eaten so many eggs in such a short period of time too. scrambled eggs, soft boiled eggs, half boiled eggs. and such bad coffee that tastes like chicken essence. first time i would avoid coffee willingly. first time i got afraid of eating eggs.

i would have preferred if there were more physical activities, but the local guides were really informative and think it would be really different if we travelled on our own. some sneaks:

first family photo

my favourite local guide

where i had the most fun

the most elaborate lodging (u must see the other rooms)

other random picks..

family gathering at kukup

2011-06-12T22:22:00.002+10:00

2011-06-08T11:29:00.003+10:00

it is so interesting that you can be so much like a person, and yet at the same time be so different from that person.

i am so unsure all the time, especially in this area. is it a matter of faith? what if that faith is misplaced?

"the only way to prepare for Christian dying is Christian living."

by faith, we went to pulau ubin!

2011-06-06T16:49:00.002+10:00

malaysia day trip

2011-06-01T11:52:00.004+10:00

fisherman's museum near desaru

their model's quite nice :)

ahh reminds me of water jeepneys!

blub blub

little stuff are always nice

my dad and his colleagues

next, the beach

next, ostrich farm.

this poor thing was twitching continuously and constantly terrified by pple and barely had space to move :( the last time i saw it it was still in the shell

this one had a deformed leg :(

watch me eat this!

birds of different feather: the chicken and the ostrich

they were pecking at each other and everything. almost all of them were bald :\

lunchtime!

next, fruit farm

those were real pineapples (u feel the gravity of it as u stand under the arc) and these are the fruits of the oil palms.

next, crocodile farm

oh deer!

they were categorized according to gender and age

feeding time - first time u see them move. fast.

handicapped croc :(

farewell tanchong

2011-06-01T11:40:00.003+10:00

part 1: dinner at food street, chinatown

last chance for our local delights!

speech time!

part 2: steamboat dinner

it was a steamy affair ;P

final moments. will be praying for you.

southern ridges trail

2011-06-01T11:28:00.003+10:00

the ants were hard at work too!

we saw other wildlife :)

went through the woods

ended at hort park

2011-05-30T00:04:00.000+10:00

you can't remote-control your family. it gets tiring for your puppets.

2011-05-21T23:37:00.002+10:00

it's a time to roar and a time to rarrr.
of insect bites that make u itchy like mad.
of humid heat that makes clothes stick to u like rubber.
of bus drivers that forget you flagged the bus.
of baking disasters making your cake taste good,
while optimum efforts make bad-tasting food.
all the effort, energy down the drain.
all the planning, straining all in vain.
sick of low quality pictures on facebook,
and a dysfunctional system.
reconciling various schools of thoughts,
there is such a turmoil in me.
of right and wrong, of head and heart.
it's really odd that i can still find pleasure and momentum in it,
though i'm rebelling against it deep within me.
when is this grey smog going to pass over me?
i miss my crazy joymakers in melbourne.
the smell of vaseline cream brings me back to that tiny windowless room, that comfy bed, the wall of memories, the time of devotion and intimacy.

i thought i nearly plugged it.
now, how did i reach this state?
the state of dissatisfaction, a very bad state to be in.
all plans going haywire.
the world of expectations and hope is very complex.
i don't understand it, but i'm stuck in its miry clay.
now, how am i going to take the Lord's Supper tomorrow?

MLA - one more year to go!

2011-05-12T00:42:00.002+10:00

relatively freed from the stressful exams, unexpected situations and dysfunctional gadgets, i guess it's time to put up a post to conclude yet another mini-chapter of my life. there is too much to thank God sufficiently for the past semester, but recent disappointments have injected a murmuring spirit into me, and it's just starting to wear off.

the unexpected turnabout of situation, from a post-exam celebration to a prolonged stressful state. what should your response be when u know that his fate is sealed, to descend to the everlasting fires? we're so helpless and so weak against the foolishness and wilfulness of man. yet much good came out of it. the trying of our faith. how the fires show the beliefs of each one of us. the situation allowed for a time of sharing, of stablishing one's faith, for clarification of doctrine and the teachings of God. by God's grace the gospel was preached. through a loss there was much gain.

but the test was to run longer than expected. failing gadgets threw me into a fit, unable to communicate, racing against time. disappointments assail me from all fronts and all the stress was making me really grumpy. the weather doesn't help too. but thanks be to God, things are starting to improve now.

there's too much to relate comprehensively in this entry. it is 2 weeks into hols but for me it's just starting. nothing has been going according to plan, and for me that often makes me real cranky. must learn to let go, for God's plan is surely better. oh i really need the retreat i've been hoping for...

yishun dipterocarp arboretum

2011-04-09T23:51:00.004+10:00

forgot to take pics of the swings and forgot to play on them before i left. :( i'll be back!

our very 'interesting eh?' nparks tutor with his four-year old tree :)

still wondering if that was a dipterocarp seedling! look at the HUGE seed split into half. so cute! the huge seed prob indicates it's a shade-tolerant seedling, so can prob be a dipterocarp. if so this is natural regeneration! :D

row of trees and fluffy clouds

very cool climbing stuffs! connected to safra club.

this is a native tree too! isn't it beautiful :)

a very brave/blur dragonfly. prob blur cos shouldn't it be near water??

crossing boundaries

2011-03-31T23:59:00.007+11:00

got to see this because we had to meet early

to take the 8am KTM train to Malaysia

before it closes down in July

took pictures along the way

crossed the causeway

we were on msia land for only 1hr!

took pictures again on the way back

come visit us again in msia! :P

the train tracks

and the trains

the next time we come the people will not be there

no more tickets to be sold

what will happen to them?? stay tuned till next sem! :D

my sis got us stamps from vietnam!

2011-03-24T14:08:00.002+11:00

Zechariah 8:6

“Thus saith the LORD of hosts; If it be marvellous in the eyes of the remnant of this people in these days, should it also be marvellous in mine eyes? saith the LORD of hosts.”

MARVELOUS! Marvelous! Probably there is no adjective more frequently on our lips than this, in these wonderful years when we are reaping the harvest of centuries of patient sowing, and when any morning the newspapers may announce a discovery which will revolutionize our methods of illumination, or locomotion, or military organization.

The other day we were told that the philosopher’s stone was found at last; and that silver can be transformed into gold; tomorrow we may rub our eyes at the marvelous news that the North Pole has been reached. Men resemble the little child led into a toy-shop, or listening to a lecture at the Royal Institute, with open-eyed wonder and open-mouthed exclamation.

But none of these things are wonderful to God; they are but the unraveling of His thoughts, the discovery of His secrets! They are only marvelous to us because we are as yet in the baby stage, waking up to know a little of what a wonderful God He is. Like a little child in Wonderland, our God is leading man from room to room, telling him such wonderful stories of His nature and creative work, as make us continually exclaim, How wonderful!

But there are more wonderful things than these—that rebels should be forgiven, prodigals restored, the sons of darkness changed into children of light, Satan driven out before the Stronger than he, the unclean heart made the pure temple of the holy God. Talk they of marvels in the natural world! These pale before the star of Bethlehem, the sunset of Calvary, and the radiance of the Resurrection morning. And we shall see greater things than these, when we follow on to know through unending ages.

indeed, more of Thy fullness to know! the fullness of Thy gift of salvation, the length, the breadth, the heights, the depths of Thy love. but the mind needs to be trained, to transcend the material things, the veil of the flesh, to bask in the light of eternity and relish spiritual things. oh, for the constancy, the unceasing strength of Thy abiding.

joys of home

2011-03-23T23:41:00.003+11:00

2011-03-20T23:52:00.001+11:00

WHAT a sermon there is in a wick! Sit beside it, and ask how it dares hope to be able to supply light for hours and hours to come. “Will you not soon burn to an end, you wick of lamp?” “No; I do not fear it, since the light does not burn me, though it burns on me. I only bear to it the oil which saturates my texture. I am but the ladder up which it climbs. It is not I, but the oil that is in me, that furnishes the light.”

Yes, that is it, and when we anticipate the future, our hearts might well misgive us if we were counting on meeting its demands from our only slender resources. But this is not necessary;we do not give light to the world; we only receive the oil from the Holy Spirit and the spark of His fire; and if we burn steadily through the long, dark hours, it is because we have learned to translate into living beauty those supplies of grace which we receive in fellowship with Jesus.

But how necessary it is that nothing interrupt the flow of oil; that there be no uncleanliness permitted to clog and obstruct the narrow bore of the golden spout of faith. Let us daily see to this; let us watch and pray, that there may be no hindrance or impediment; let us draw from our King-Priest more and more of His grace, to enable us to persevere. It cannot be too often repeated, that it is not what we do for Him, but what He does through us, which really blesses men. Be satisfied then to be only a wick, unseen amid the glory of the light that crowns it, and willing to be consumed by the daily removal of the charred fringe. Delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus may be manifest in your mortal flesh.

2011-03-17T11:51:00.002+11:00

this blog is becoming so trivial, it is not worth reading anymore. i can sense myself clamping up, becoming more and more withdrawn. the zest of younger years vanishing into thin air. the struggles becoming so often it's not worth writing about. little things too trivial it's not worth reading about. somehow there's nothing to be excited about anymore. somehow there is a lot more burdens weighing me down.

i feel myself morphing into someone i don't know, and this person scares me. so numb, so fidgety. this sense of weirdness has persisted for so long now. the lack of satisfaction has been lingering. i still recall that particular summer day, the fresh morning air streaming into the huge victorian windows, lying in the soft cushiony bed, reading a book by Elizabeth Elliot. Each morning, huddled up against a small wooden stool, peering expectantly into Your Word, relishing each revelation, then walking in the fresh morning breeze, looking into the blue blue sky, together we rejoice at the goodness of the Lord.

Nowadays, encompassed about by weary worldliness, stuffy and stifled, fearful and petrified. every plant i set my hand to withers and die. and there's that sense of weirdness once again. i really don't understand it. is it the change in human interaction? or the change in routine/responsibilities/studies content. always in one miry mud if not in miry clay. there is not a moment when i can enjoy total abandonment of myself, steeped in Your Word. the interruptions, fear of interruptions. necessities. counting each minute, each second left to complete my work. no moment to rest, no moment to relax. clinging on tightly. clenching hard. must i be reduced to dust. can i not learn this another way?

an interesting jog

2011-03-10T02:36:00.002+11:00

met some hopea and shoreas just now but my glasses fogged up before i could get a good look at them :\
enjoyed those fluffy birds, freaked out a cat, noticed an ant, freaked out by a cockroach, played with a snail.

before i forget, those plants i got from garden festival last yr and now struggling to stay alive are called Fittonia albivenis

my 1001 plant book is falling to bits..

trees

2011-03-05T12:07:00.002+11:00

little things

2011-02-28T01:30:00.002+11:00

This Is Where We Live from 4th Estate on Vimeo.

gotta watch this in HD! love the little people and little buildings. i guess that's why some pple love making models and mini stuffs.

the little guy loves cuddling in the roses. just hope he doesn't destroy them all.

don't despise the day of little things.

2011-02-22T12:53:00.002+11:00

when u watch mr bean and see how his awfully ridiculously murphiac life turn into a most beautiful drama, u can't help but remember that God is an even better director who makes all things beautiful in His time.

Ecc 3:10-11 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

smth not so interesting for most pple

2011-02-15T01:35:00.004+11:00

spent 2 hrs naming the plants.. now all the names are just a jumble in my head. hmmm

a peek into the sg herbarium:

2011-02-13T01:43:00.006+11:00

sometimes, perhaps all you need is a new perspective.

2011-02-11T00:54:00.005+11:00

it was a build-up. the overwhelming sense of inability and uselessness, i was ready to perish, ready to faint at my own efforts. the days were weary, the long nights weary. so removed from heaven, the world in all its realities bear hard on me, trapping me in. how? i kept on asking. how?

it was no lightning from heaven, but it was the precious Lord's Day. fellow saints bearing Thine own great Heart of Love in great tenderness.
it wasn't even a very 'holy' Lord's Day based on the human scale of 'holy acts'. but God works beyond all these manmade narrowness of thinking. indeed, the truth will set you free.

fieldtrip to mac ritchie reservoir: that hook is a modified inflorescence! and it turns woody once it hooks onto smth. isn't that cool?

2011-01-31T22:40:00.000+11:00

rags2riches

2011-01-31T00:47:00.003+11:00

the expectations. it's like the rain.
i am stretched. so very strained.
get desensitised to the pain,
striving perpetually in vain.
trying to rhyme this is making me insane.
i need to learn how to be more zen.

haha.

when will bitter laughters be replaced by sweet communions and heartfelt praises?
just so disgruntled that they can snatch away my precious time with the Lord so easily. should i have put up a fight, made a fuss?
a melb-sg transition thing? not used to working on weekends? not true. it is precious and i guard it jealously.
when will i stop missing the memory of resting in the greatness of Who Thou art and go on to claim fresher, greater visions of You?
yet so unfit, undeserving to claim.
oh Lord, let me have faith.

2011-01-27T11:00:00.000+11:00

photoblog on the philippines

mla2011_manila

2011-01-23T01:37:00.004+11:00

day 1: even before we crossed the Philippines immigration, we were already looking forward to our next holidays. not a good sign. the sky was overcast. groggy from lack of sleep. the reception took forever. met roma joerg and philip and had an extremely long dinner talking about facebook and emergencies.

day 2: he made us wake up so early. the disney princess jeepney! thank God the wire was spoiled so i was spared the brain-damaging music. one hr too early for our ferry cruise, so we visited the manila cathedral and baseko. the ferry cruise down pasig river with the wind in our eyes and the water hyacinth under the ferry. at the last stop we alighted, with 45min to wander. and wander we did, into the memorable incident of the trip. the 11th of jan 2011, 11 people on the bridge, mla#11.

day 3: he made us wake up too early again. we were too early at buayang bato. the first normal day at our first site. adek suya became a star!:D

day 4: 2nd day at buayang bato. of wires, clothes and plants. the furry caterpillar. the fainting spell. thank you dita meng.

day 5: we were too early again (as u can tell we were sleep deprived). had an impromptu dance lesson by a 63 yr old dance instructor at the park. our warm up for the building day at telus village. i managed to get myself a 'supervisor' while painting the walls -_-

day 6: fieldwork at telus village. started and ended the day with dance again.

day 7: the Lord's Day. but there's still work planned :( visited st augustine church. a mass was going on. tombstones make the floor. spiritual wickedness in high places. back to buayang bato. can't really get much work done with the kids all around u.

day 8: sitio pajo. seniors' site the last time. lotsa edible plants! couples for Christ. handmaids of the Lord. values formation. the fire in the slum, rebuilding their habitation with the roof still burning. the desperation, the fear. the gratefulness for their homes. we are so blessed.

at the detectives and investigators section, they were playing computer games. "Be wise in your own eyes". it was on the wall. what else would you expect?

the sick river, the scorching heat. yet, the sacrifices that was made, the hardships that were borne. taking pride in the little things. cherishing the little experiences. they each had a story to tell. we have been pampered beyond feeling, beyond loving.

*pls check out the album for more pretty pics! i could only put the landscape ones here cos portrait ones spoil the format.

A Prayer for 2011

2011-01-21T01:44:00.005+11:00

O Lord,

I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
with Thee, O Father as my harbour,
Thee O Son, at my helm,
Thee O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.

Guide me to heaven with
my loins girt,
my lamp burning,
my ear open to Thy calls,
my heart full of love,
my soul free.

Give me
Thy grace to sanctify me,
Thy comforts to cheer,
Thy wisdom to teach,
Thy right hand to guide,
Thy counsel to instruct,
Thy law to judge,
Thy presence to stabilize.

May Thy fear be my awe,
Thy triumphs my joy.

Length of days does not profit me
except the days are passed
in Thy presence,
in Thy service,
to Thy glory.

Give me a grace that
preceedes, follows, guides, sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from Thee,

but may rely on Thy spirit to
supply every thought,
speak in every word,
direct every step,
prosper every work,
build up every mote of faith,

and give me a desire to
show forth Thy praise,
testify Thy love,
advance Thy kingdom.

adaped from collection of Puritan prayers in "The Valley of Vision"

i thought the first post of the year shouldn't be on the very eventful fieldtrip. will post abt that tmr!

2010-12-27T18:49:00.002+11:00

so happy for u angeline and alvin.
why do i repel buses. murphy's law is perfectly demonstrated in my life. by the grace of God i am still alive. this world is not my home.
i was walking down the street the other day, thinking i should keep my thoughts in a little bottle for you - the poetic moments, the sun, the wind (or the lack thereof), the way the grass stands so still. i wanted to say i missed you.
i'm so broken, so useless. trying to figure out the way ahead, and you showed me, but i am afraid. you know how often i am so fearful, so unable, scared to death. the burden grows heavy in my heart, on my shoulders, yet there is none to help bear. i guess i was shrinking from the door you have opened. it is dark beyond, i cannot see. i cannot sense your presence guiding me. still i know you have never left me. as i look back at the mountain peaks and the deep valleys, the winding paths and precarious cliffs, i know you were there. and now, i must have faith. only, hold my hand, lead me on, into the land of promise, into your rest.

my favourite things

2010-12-16T13:38:00.002+11:00

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

my Bible is losing the melbourne smell. it's a good sign, but i'm going to miss it.
i'd choose guitar session over the cinema anytime. i guess it's all abt the company.

2010-12-14T14:49:00.002+11:00

Ezekiel 17:23

“In the mountain of the height of Israel will I plant it: and it shall bring forth boughs, and bear fruit, and be a goodly cedar: and under it shall dwell all fowl of every wing; in the shadow of the branches thereof shall they dwell.”

THE cedar is a royal tree. It thrives 6,000 feet above the level of the sea. The concentric rings of one tree showed that it was 3,500 years old. What a contrast between the long-lived, deep-rooted, broad-branched tree, and the little birds that nest among the leaves!

The text suggests that Christ is the cedar, and all kinds of people seek rest in Him, as birds of every wing. Young and old, rich and poor; men high-soaring as the eagle, fierce as the raven, gentle as the dove. The young, just learning to try their wings; the old, weary, and lonely; those who have kept all the commandments from their youth, and those who have broken them all.

It does not matter with what wing we come to Jesus, so long as we come. The practised eye can easily recognize the birds by their flight; each bird has its own wing; so every soul has its own disposition and temperament — one feverish, the other languid and lethargic; one impetuous, the other dilatory; one affectionate and warm, the other cool and shy. But the Lord Jesus knows our frame, and understands us afar off. He does not chide the dove because it cannot breast the storm and face the sun like the eagle. He does not expect the sustained flight of the seagull from the sparrow; or the song of the nightingale from the chaffinch.

Do not imitate another; be yourself. Do not go about the world counting that you are useless and a failure, because you cannot do what is done by others. Learn how to be abased, and how to abound. Only rest in Christ. Out of the windy storm and tempest, make for your roosting-place under the shelter of His wing.

how wonderful the knowledge!
Psa 139:2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

happy bday kaishuin and welcome home yijie :)

2010-12-13T02:37:00.003+11:00

2010-12-09T13:14:00.000+11:00

my plant finally got a new lease of life, but my camera died, so no photos for now...

Ezekiel 12:25, 28

“For I am the LORD: I will speak, and the word that I shall speak shall come to pass; it shall be no more prolonged: for in your days, O rebellious house, will I say the word, and will perform it, saith the Lord GOD. ... Therefore say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; There shall none of my words be prolonged any more, but the word which I have spoken shall be done, saith the Lord GOD.”

IN various ways the people of Israel were endeavoring to minimize the effects of Ezekiel’s denunciations of judgment. They did not deny that he spoke the word of God; but comforted themselves with the reflection that it was not likely to be fulfilled for some time yet “The vision that he seeth is for many days to come.” (Ezekiel 12:27) God, on the other hand, said, “It shall be no more prolonged.”

We are all disposed to remove the wonder-working of God to the remote past or the distant future: either that He did miracles or will do them. Heaven touches the earth at this horizon or that; but it is remote from the place where we stand. This is the tendency of our mind; and for this reason we miss the manifestations of God’s grace and power, which wait to enrich our lives. Now is the accepted time; now the day of salvation. As Christ is, so are we. There is as much of Divine power and love throbbing around, and within our easy reach, as ever filled the upper room at Pentecost, or shall break on the world in the millennial days. Let us not postpone our appropriation of it. Let us never permit the thought that God is not prepared to fulfill His promises here and now. Let us not lament over the past as having been better than the present can ever be expected to be, nor predict greater days for our children.

It is here that the distinction between fact, faith, and feeling, will help us. We very seldom, indeed, never until Spirit-taught, put these three in their right order. We try to feel that spiritual facts are so, instead of accepting that they are, and daring to act as if they were patent to physical sensations. A spiritual fact is true, even when you do not believe or feel it. Believe! act! and you will come to feel.

blue eyes

2010-12-02T23:21:00.002+11:00

2010-11-26T13:37:00.002+11:00

my camera has been through the fire and through the flood, and has finally given up the ghost.

i have the memory of an abundance of good erasers lying around in our drawers. where did they all go to just when you need them???

studley royal

2010-11-22T17:16:00.001+11:00

Beautiful Saviour

2010-11-16T11:08:00.001+11:00

The Story of Stuff

2010-11-13T05:43:00.001+11:00

The Story of Stuff

2010-11-09T10:11:00.001+11:00

i lost my umbrella that can withstand melbourne winds. what a bummer.

thank God for His daily grace and mercy and comfort and providence.
must continue to think on whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, with virtue, with praise.

2010-11-05T23:49:00.002+11:00

forced to fight for a project i don't believe in,
and to give direction for something i don't know.

yet i have no complaint, for i see my Father's hand.

only grant me wisdom, grant me faith.
grant me patience to win the race.

and go away, you mighty headache.

2010-10-28T01:44:00.002+11:00

2010-10-26T02:13:00.001+11:00

i shouldn't have experimented with my 3 little pots of joy. now i've got to either get alcohol to kill the worms, or re-pot them. sighss more work more work. let craziness begin!

2010-10-21T17:02:00.002+11:00

those times of nothingness. no expectations. no attachments. a lalaland.

2010-10-11T01:31:00.002+11:00

I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
I would be pure, for there are those who care;
I would be strong, for there is much to suffer;
I would be brave, for there is much to dare;
I would be brave, for there is much to dare.

temptations and seductions are more lethal than trials.

i want to keep it simple and sweet.

another nz-photos-editing spree

2010-09-25T14:17:00.004+10:00

day7

day8

day9

day10

photos again!

2010-09-22T16:13:00.005+10:00

i've never been so overjoyed because of holidays before.
here's the long long overdue photos fr adelaide which i left on my thumbdrive and forgot all about! :X

newzeeland day6:

will work on the rest of nz pics again tonight hopefully! gotta go do some work first!

2010-09-17T11:27:00.002+10:00

it's now 2 months and 2 days since i left melbourne. i'm so glad it's recess wk next wk. very timely for my computer swap with my mum and a time to reinstall my spiritual convictions. lots to thank God for. many people and things to pray for.

love
loving joy
loving joyful peace
loving joyful peaceful endurance in suffering
loving joyful peaceful longsuffering gentleness
loving joyful peaceful longsuffering gentle goodness
loving joyful peaceful longsuffering gentle good faith
loving joyful peaceful longsuffering gentle good faithful meekness
loving joyful peaceful longsuffering gentle good faithful meek temperance

:)

2010-09-05T23:50:00.002+10:00

Blessed assurance

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
born of his Spirit, washed in his blood.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
angels descending bring from above
echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
watching and waiting, looking above,
filled with his goodness, lost in his love.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

Like a river glorious

Like a river glorious, is God’s perfect peace,
Over all victorious, in its bright increase;
Perfect, yet it floweth, fuller every day,
Perfect, yet it groweth, deeper all the way.

Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,
Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;
Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,
Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.

Every joy or trial falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love;
We may trust Him fully all for us to do.
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.

Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

2010-08-25T22:07:00.002+10:00

today sees the addition of 3 new links - the sartorialist (featuring new photographers), shooting strangers in orchard rd (orchard rd street photography), exuberant singapore (poetic renditions of singapore's ambitions and developments). for those interested.

in the landscape architecture (LA) profession, i can see parallels to the christian profession.
outside people misunderstand what this profession is about.
they laugh at and ridicule the profession for what it is not.
they don't realise how much of things they enjoy in this life are actually designed by such people.
discussing LA issues and concepts with non-LA people is like playing music to a cow.
u get misunderstood, frustrated, and get no where far with their suggestions.
the joy and ease of being with likeminded people, passionate about the same things.
sharing information, techniques and methodologies - grabbing the plan and model from seniors, exchanging files, learning new shortcuts for photoshop, teaching how to use illustrator.
sharing the burdens, understanding the struggles, helping one another along.
the fierce loyalty, the extreme helpfulness, knowing that we need all the help and numbers we can get.

but why is it that often it is so sorely lacking in the christian community?

true friends

2010-08-20T12:14:00.003+10:00

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weight thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

thank God for such friends :)

happy national day singapore :)

2010-08-10T12:45:00.002+10:00

my first national day at home after 4 years, and i spent half of it in malaysia, a quarter of it in between malaysia and singapore, and a quarter of it at my cousin's place. haha

somehow there's a part of me that feels very at home in malaysia. the kampong lifestyle, with muscular chickens and stray dogs, eating fruits fresh off the trees, enjoying the bounty of the land. rambutan, longan, mangosteen, papaya, yumsss :D but after a while the insects will get to you and you realise the itchiness is not very fun :S

it is hard to find one who will naturally care for your soul. i find that we will naturally be attracted to those who cares for the wellbeing of our soul. no wonder if you are mindful of your own soul, you will be drawn to the Lover of our Souls.

hello me, welcome back to student life part 2.

kite flying @ marina barrage with QNTQ

2010-08-04T01:53:00.000+10:00

nz pictures alert!

2010-08-04T00:45:00.003+10:00

.
.
.

2010-07-27T23:26:00.002+10:00

when can i swim like that bachelor seal
in a passageway no one would steal
your vision not affected by the glasses
your air not polluted by the buses
with the jazz music playing in your head
you flip around on the rippling bed
play peekaboo with the smiling sun
gliding effortlessly it looks so fun

ok this is taking way too much time. maybe i should go read some shakespeare.

nus. network of unlimited stupefaction.
stupefaction:
1. A feeling of stupefied astonishment.
2. Marginal consciousness
3. The action of stupefying; making dull or lethargic
note: applicable to nus internet networksssss.

this is surreal

2010-07-26T12:51:00.002+10:00

15 July.
the last pie, the last bagel. the unfinished errands. the loose ends. the unexpected tool in the unfolding of events. on the way to my transportation, i feel it. the shrinking back into my shell.
the hours of entertainment on the plane, i sense it. the emptiness. unfulfilling. a glance at the lights on the ceiling and i remember the starry hosts.
bleary eyed, wondering whether the fragile items will come on the belt. ah singapore, the city of renovations. went the wrong way for the exit. stuck in a long queue for the taxi. welcome back to squeezy singapore. hey illiteration!
dunked back into this manicured landscape, what monster would i become?

the clothes the bags the eyes glued to the tv. the bleak landscape, with things out of joint. what was i expecting? everyone was mad, everyone was angry. the roles are not played, the needs are not met. where should i begin, how should i start?

i got lost again in singapore. my incompetency almost always guarantees me a hiking trip. new toys: spray paint, paint, hammer, glue, cardboard, paper, scissors, measuring tape. my childhood toys of building blocks had a long influence eh.

a day of meeting humans and plants. nice and friendly coursemates, just 15 of us, at the singapore garden festival. what a hot sun, what a torrential rain! no wonder the festival is held indoors. i should be starting sch 10aug instead on 2aug i think. 3 new plants! pretty pretty. now i've got my gardener watching over the one sitting on my desk :)

singapore is noisy.
the sun does not set at 5.30pm.
my stamina was greatly improved by the new zealand trip.
after nz, all other landscapes are just bland to the taste. no more yumminess :\
national day is coming soon. they started their musical brainwashing in ntuc ytd.
durians are in season!
somehow it is easier to swim in singapore poolwaters.
the moon is celebrating its roundness soon.
my cousin's baby girl is 1mth old.
thankful for your leading all the way, although i am often so distracted, so dense.

Savior, like a shepherd lead us, much we need Thy tender care;
In Thy pleasant pastures feed us, for our use Thy folds prepare.
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus! Thou hast bought us, Thine we are.
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus! Thou hast bought us, Thine we are.

We are Thine, Thou dost befriend us, be the guardian of our way;
Keep Thy flock, from sin defend us, seek us when we go astray.
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus! Hear, O hear us when we pray.
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus! Hear, O hear us when we pray.

Thou hast promised to receive us, poor and sinful though we be;
Thou hast mercy to relieve us, grace to cleanse and power to free.
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus! We will early turn to Thee.
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus! We will early turn to Thee.

Early let us seek Thy favor, early let us do Thy will;
Blessèd Lord and only Savior, with Thy love our bosoms fill.
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus! Thou hast loved us, love us still.
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus! Thou hast loved us, love us still.

BAaaaa.says a black sheep,glad and happy to see clearly once again her dear Shepherd :)

a little sharpening, a little warmth, a little spark

2010-07-22T17:47:00.004+10:00

Breathe on me, breath of God,
Fill me with life anew,
That I may love what Thou dost love
And do what Thou wouldst do.

Breathe on me, breath of God,
Until my heart is pure,
Until with Thee I will one will
To do and to endure.

Breathe on me, breath of God,
Till I am wholly Thine,
Till all this earthly part of me
Glows with Thy fire divine.

If the iron be blunt, and he do not whet the edge, then must he put to more strength: but wisdom is profitable to direct. - Ecc 10:10

2010-07-19T14:03:00.002+10:00

what should i do with the drawers-ful of memories?

back from niu zeee-baabaa-land!

2010-07-05T17:14:00.008+10:00

my first overseas trip with friends! backpacked around the whole south island in 15 days. jam-packed full of experiences. the mountains, the low lying clouds, the braided rivers, the orange trees, the black sheep! the glaciers, a mini blizzard, the hosts of heaven, the glacier landforms, the playful seals and dolphins, the exhaustion from kayaking and trekking, the glowworms, the exceptionally good sunny clear weather, the heavy snow, my first snowman! paragliding, met new travel companions - the german and the mexican :) the rainbowsss, the waterfalls, the coollldddd alpine summit, the tropical-like abel tasman national park, pancake rocks, bumblebees and birds, noah's ark and old macdonald's farm and the hut in the middle of the national park, the mystical mountains, the snarling tired seals, staying overnight in the airport, winning bridge with jema... the pictures will take some time to compile so please be patient!

i cannot understand why God's children would not want to worship Him on His Sabbath day. i've learnt not to take the salvation of my friends for granted. it is hard to find likeminded brethren with the same love for the Lord and the things of God. i've learnt also to cherish the sound teaching of my church and not take these things for granted. indeed, 'where there is no vision, the people perish'. also learnt the meaning of how forgiveness is for the sake of the offender, what i learnt during the retreat in adelaide. still so many things i can't get my head ard. and how rebuking someone is really the most loving and courageous thing we as christians can do.

think i've gotten used to being up and going when the sun arise during the 15 days. the cloudy gloomy melbourne city was sill pretty much groggy and sleepy at 9am. hope to finish up my packing today (8jul. was zonked out on 5jul when i just got back fr nz so this post is actually late)!

enjoying life

2010-06-19T10:52:00.002+10:00

why do you have to 'do something' to be enjoying life? since when did travel becomes synonymous with 'enjoying life'? it is only enjoying the world which is reserved for judgment by fire. it is all about the spirit of discontentment.

i love fruits. the sweet yummy natural goodness, reflecting God's sweet yummy divine goodness. cannot imagine the pure delight of the fruits from the tree of life when we get to heaven!

i enjoy the smell of the morning air, the beauty of sunlight, the warmth of the clothes, the comfort of the bed, the joy of friendship, the strength to face the challenges of each day, health to walk and work, the ability to think hard and to hope. little pleasures in life.

John 10:10b I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

John 17:3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

are you enjoying life? new life in Christ?

2010-06-07T21:49:00.001+10:00

i love to eat brown bears.
to enjoy safe-tea you have to first find the fire egg-sit.

fully packed till 6 july. i've never been so sociable in my life.

2010-05-27T20:33:00.001+10:00

Singapore is a tropickle eyeland. The people there have four eyes and love to throw pickles.

the advent of winter

2010-05-24T23:09:00.005+10:00

the cinnamomum camphora in church has shed its leaves
those nandina domestica along the road have turned red
those parthenocissus tricuspidata hanging on the walls have turned red too
even the wattles (acacias) have let off their florescent florescence

it's interesting how you can tell what the student was thinking or the struggle he or she went through just by looking at the marks on the exam paper. it's fascinating too to see so many fonts in a day. some of them are real pretty :D today is the first time i saw someone draw a star above their 'i' instead of just a circle or a heart shape.

sovereign hill album updated!

2010-05-15T00:14:00.001+10:00

Speak, Lord, in the stillness
While I wait on Thee;
Hushed my heart to listen,
In expectancy.

Speak, O blessèd Master,
In this quiet hour,
Let me see Thy face, Lord,
Feel Thy touch of power.

For the words Thou speakest,
“They are life” indeed;
Living Bread from Heaven,
Now my spirit feed!

All to Thee is yielded,
I am not my own;
Blissful, glad surrender,
I am Thine alone.

Fill me with the knowledge
Of Thy glorious will;
All Thine own good pleasure
In my life fulfill.

Like “a watered garden”
Full of fragrance rare,
Ling’ring in Thy presence
Let my life appear.

walking on water

2010-05-12T15:09:00.001+10:00

liquid mountaineering check out the post 'our competition'. reminds me of the qing gong of ancient china. would love to delve into the physics!

where my time went to

2010-05-05T12:12:00.003+10:00

anzac day adventures

2010-05-03T15:34:00.000+10:00

credits to jon for the photos

prayer of a righteous man availeth much

2010-05-03T11:31:00.003+10:00

Our Daily Homily By F.B. Meyer

Psalm 116:4

“Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.”

WHAT could we do without the resource of prayer? When compassed with the cords of death, and held by trouble and sorrow, what help would there be for us who eschew the methods of self-deliverance which the men of the world do not scruple to employ, if we might not betake ourselves to our knees?

“Nay, but much rather let me late returning,
Bruised of my brethren, wounded from within,
Stoop with sad countenance and blushes burning,
Bitter with weariness and sick with sin.

“Straight to thy presence get me and reveal it,
Nothing ashamed of tears upon thy feet;
Show the sore wound, and beg thine hand to heal it;
Pour Thee the bitter, pray Thee for the sweet.”

Only let us never forget the immense importance of those five great “ifs”:—

John 15:7
If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
which touches our life in Him, and His in us, in unremitting fellowship.

Matthew 18:19
if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
which touches our life with others, that must be clear as crystal.

Matthew 17:20
If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
which concerns the vigor and health of our own soul-life.

1 John 5:14–15
And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
which demands that we know God well.

John 14:14
If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
which winnows out from prayer all that is inconsistent with the name of Jesus.

Oh for the deep-dwelling life, spent in the secret place, where earth’s voices grow faint, and God’s clear. Such a life is a perpetual appeal to God’s nature for succor — an appeal which awakens an instant response. “Call unto Me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” (Jeremiah 33:3)

Winning, God's Way

2010-04-28T22:31:00.001+10:00

by Loren Cunningham
[extracts]

The way to win is to give up! not that we give up in our struggle with evil, but rather the surrender of our personal rights to the Lord.

the example of Jesus:
He gave up His glory in Heaven to come to earth as man.
On earth, He gave up the right to a normal birth, but was born in an animal shelter.
He gave up the right to marriage, the right to a home. foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests but He didn't have a place to lay His head.
He gave up the right to money. He once had to borrow a coin from someone for a sermon illustration!
He surrendered His reputation. As far as most people was concerned, He was an illegitimate son, raised in a town that was scorned.
He gave up the right to life itself, and became obedient to death on a cross, reserved for the worst criminals of His day. He was buried in a borrowed tomb.

Jesus was showing us that the only way to conquer is to submit.

God has given us all these rights, all the blessings and all the things we own. Then why is He asking us to give Him back those rights? Because it is really the only way we can express our love back to Him. We have nothing that He hasn't given us. God owns all the earth, all the universe, but when we give Him what He has blessed us with, the expression of our love brings joy to His father heart.

Another reason God asks for us to relinquish something is because He wants to give us something greater.
Jacob wrestled with God, was wounded in his hip, and became a Prince, a leader of a nation. But he limped for the rest of his life. Ever strong man or woman of God has gone this route. The choice is yours: Remain in mediocrity and miss out on God's greater purposes for you, or walk with a limp and be a prince.

THE RIGHT TO PERSONAL POSSESSIONS, MATERIAL THINGS
(the example takes up 2 pages, so here's just an extract at the end)
"I stood there, rooted to the ground in shame. I had been willing to throw money onto the road (upon God's prompting) and walk away (for some stranger to pick up, probably led by God), but I had clutched it tightly when I didn't agree with God's direction to invest it in this young man (who was a drug addict and the author didn't have much faith in him)."

some thoughts: Does our own preconception and prejudices hinder us from God's prompting to give to certain persons/ministries?

THE RIGHT TO ENJOY THE COMFORTS OF OUR HOME AND CULTURE
Poem by Bill McChesney, an American missionary just before he was killed at age 28 in the Congo uprising of 1964:

My Choice

I want my breakfast served at "Eight,"
With ham and eggs upon the plate;
A well-broiled steak I'll eat at "One,"
And dine again when day is done.

I want an ultra modern home,
and in each room a telephone;
Soft carpets, too, upon the floors,
and pretty drapes to grace the doors.

A cozy place of lovely things,
like easy chairs with innersprings,
and then i'll get a small TV -
of course, "I'm careful what I see."

I want my wardrobe, too, to be
of neatest, finest quality,
with latest style in suit and vest,
why shouldn't Christians have the best?

But then the Master I can hear,
In no uncertain voice, so clear,
"I bid you come and follow me,
The Lowly Man of Galilee."

"Birds of the air have made their nests,
And foxes in their holes find rest;
But i can offer you no bed;
No place have I to lay my head."

In shame i hung my head and cried,
How could I spurn the Crucified?
Could I forget the way He went,
The sleepless nights in prayer He spent?

For forty days without a bite,
Alone He fasted day and night;
Despised, rejected - on He went,
And did not stop till veil He rent.

A Man of sorrows and of grief,
No earthly friend to bring relief -
"Smitten of God," the prophet said -
Mocked, beaten, bruised, His blood ran red.

If He be God and died for me,
No sacrifice too great can be
for me, a mortal man, to make;
I'll do it all for Jesus' sake.

Yes, I will tread the path He trod,
No other way will please my God;
So, henceforth, this choice shall be,
My choice for all eternity.

A missionary = one who is sent.
John 20:21b as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.
"I've never had a call" "You mean you've never heard the call!"
Indeed, are we listening to God? Are we tuned to His still small voice?

Aren't we all to strive to keep the faith pure? How can we work with people who believe differently than we do? Aren't we supposed to guard against heresy and apostasy?

I have come to the conviction that the spirit behind an issue is more crucial than differences in understanding. The spirit of heresy is adding to what is truth. The spirit of apostasy is taking from truth. Pride is the sin behind true heresy and apostasy, which leads to deliberately adding to the truth of God's Word, or taking some of it away.

How many of us understand all truth? We are all growing in knowledge, so that means none of us knows it all yet. A greater degree of humility is needed within the body of Christ if we are ever to move together in the spirit of unity and cooperate in the task of world evangelism. Each one of us needs to realise, "I don't have exhaustive truth. I don't understand all things."

Did Jesus say, "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, because you have the same statement of doctrine"? No, He said they would know we belonged to Him because of our love for one another.

During WWII, thousands of Christians suffered in Hitler's prisons and concentration camps. One was a German named Martin Nieomuller. He was in solitary confinement, but one Christmas Day he was brought out of his cell and thrown in with three other Christian prisoners. One was from the Salvation Army, one was Pentecostal, one was a Methodist and Nieomuller himself was from the German Free Evangelical Church.
The men found a discarded burnt door from a bombing, which they placed on the floor for a table. Using the black bread from their daily rations and some water, they celebrated the Lord's Supper together. Nieomuller reported, "As we knelt together on that cold stone floor, our theological differences vanished."

THE RIGHT TO BE MAD (EMOTIONAL RIGHTS)
healing is where the hurt is.
Forgiveness is laying down your life psychologically for another. It is laying down your emotional rights. Forgiveness is a choice not to remember what someone has done against you.
Hindrances: 1/not choosing to forgive. 2/failure to forgive yourself, thus also being hard on others. 3/jealousy. 4/pride. 5/lack of understanding God's character, esp His mercy. 5/a double-standard, expressed in vindictiveness. will result in you duplicating the sin of the person you are trying to get even with. 6/fear, esp of further hurts. the act of forgiveness releases emotional healing, making you strong enough to withstand future hurts.

SEVEN SPHERES OF INFLUENCE that will help us shape societies for Christ:
1/the home
2/the church
3/the schools
4/government & politics
5/the media
6/arts, entertainment, sports
7/commerce, science, technology

indeed you've taught me many times "Give up while you're ahead".

Lucky

2010-04-22T10:47:00.000+10:00

2010-04-18T21:32:00.002+10:00

let me love, and not be respected;
let me serve, and not be rewarded;
let me labour, and not be remembered;
let me suffer, and not be regarded.

'tis the pouring, not the drinking,
'tis the breaking, not the keeping;
a life suffering to seek others' blessing,
a life loving and true comfort giving.

not expecting pity or concern,
not accepting solace and applause;
even lonely, even forgotten,
even wordless, even forsaken.

tears and blood, my price for the righteous crown shall be.
losing all, my cost for a faithful pilgrim's life.
'twas the life, o Lord, that You chose to live
in those days when on earth You trod.
let me suffer all injuries and loss
so that all might draw near and repose.

i cannot see how much further i shall go,
still i press on knowing there is no return.
let me follow your pattern so perfect and true -
bearing ingratitude without complaint.
in this time of trial, o my Lord i pray,
that You'd wipe every hidden tear away.
let me learn, o Lord, You are my reward.
let me be others' blessings all my days.

Just like Heaven!

2010-04-16T21:41:00.002+10:00

finally watched this movie today! the main male character is a landscape architect. and i can see how the 'oh you're a landscape architect. come do my garden!' conception came about. actually sometimes it is a shame that i don't know how to do sensational gardens. but still, you never know how much maintenance goes behind it. the enduring landscape, or one designed to change - that is real mastery of design.

anyway, talking about heaven, was just musing about this a while ago. if the essence of heaven is the presence of God, then shouldn't Christians be living like heaven on earth right now? indeed, how often we forsake the sweet consciousness of God's presence. how blind we are to the glories of heaven that surround us, that are readily available to us. how hardened we are to the transforming power that is alive in us each day.

finally!

2010-04-13T15:20:00.008+10:00

graduation

trip to tasmania

melbourne flower show

i'm losing it, and i don't understand why.

Lead me in a plain path, dear Lord

2010-04-08T22:41:00.001+10:00

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

while researching nparks

2010-03-31T10:40:00.003+11:00

how green is the dhoby ghaut green?

the next time i go pulau ubin!

the western park connector's complete! read about rock climbing at Dairy Farm Quarry. must check that out next time...

Singapore Garden Festival

You are a Analyser Supporter

2010-03-30T10:10:00.000+11:00

Analyser Supporters are thinkers and like to follow rules and procedures. They are patient and accurate, hard-working and thorough. Often described as perfectionists, they strive to be perfect in everything they do. They want to get it done right every time.

Analyser Supporters like to focus on stable, predictable outcomes. You like to know exactly what you are doing, where you’re headed and what support you’ll get along the way. You are logical and tend to take a suspicious and sceptical approach to new ideas and change. You use your knowledge and experience to solve problems and you prefer to communicate in writing. You influence others through the use of factual and logical arguments. You are logical, dependable and disciplined, and perform well in a consistent and well-organised manner. You go by the book and are extremely conscientious.

The ideal job for Analyser Supporters is to work in a field where technical, analytical skills are valued, where you can produce quality work or research. As a detailed factual person the careers that attract are those where lots of contact with people is not necessary, where you can analyse and solve problems, provide back-up and support for others, where expertise and creativity is required.

hmmm maybe i should have done engineering.

2010-03-17T21:14:00.005+11:00

Anywhere I would walk close to Thee, Lord;
Anywhere I would be a vessel of your Grace, Lord;
Anywhere I would be a blessing, Lord;
Even though there may be fears of the unknown,
Even though there may be tears of the bittersweet past,
Anywhere, Lord: Send me I pray.

Everyone loves in different ways.
The silent sufferings, the quiet blissfulness of the presence, the amazing patience, the giving of time, money and self.
The big ship goes ahead, opening the way for the little boat trailing behind. It is often caught in the stormy blast, and it shows up in the scars. Though strong and mighty in presence and action, it has its fears which is deeply hidden. The little boat, when will it face the vast ocean on its own? Will it survive the giant waves and fierce winds? Tossed to and fro, it often cries out for help. When will it finally cast its anchor deep and secure into the everlasting rock?

2010-03-15T12:12:00.004+11:00

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

O let me feel Thee near me - the world is ever near;
I see the sights that dazzle, the tempting sounds I hear.
My foes are ever near me, around me and within;
But, Jesus, draw Thou nearer and shield my soul from sin.

O let me hear Thee speaking in accents clear and still,
Above the storms and passions, the murmurs of self-will.
O speak to reassure me, to hasten or control;
O speak and make me listen, Thou Guardian of my soul.

Oh lil' lambs, who didst taught thou to lift up thy heads and prance in an orderly line?

You take a deep breath as you soar up towards the sky. You see the setting sun break through the leaves ending in a dazzle of lights on the lush grass. You close your eyes and let the wind rustle your hair. For a moment, you are free, without a care in the world, reliving the joys of childhood. You see someone walking weirdly measuring distances and remember all the funny things you had to do in the landscape architecture course. A bittersweet memory. Now, the room is empty and you've got all your free time again. free, but empty? You run away, looking for something to fill that emptiness. but what a waste of a night. shifting to and fro, yet belonging to neither. am i to stay on the swing and look at the world go by? unattached, uninvolved?

2010-03-01T12:48:00.001+11:00

oh Lord, that You'd become my bread and my meat indeed.

why is there always not enough time?

2010-03-01T00:38:00.003+11:00

two days left. a million things left to do. my heart is racing ahead of my brains which is racing ahead of my hands. and the excessively hot weather is not helping. neither is the excessive junk food. neither is the coffee and tea.

sleep, you'll have to get shifted ard. body, please hang in there and still function normally in the meanwhile. we are all wishful thinkers. going to get organised for now. byebye.

For My flesh is meat indeed, and My blood is drink indeed.

2010-02-24T03:29:00.001+11:00

What is meant by eating this flesh and drinking this blood, which is so necessary and beneficial; it is certain that is means neither more nor less than believing in Christ. As we partake of meat and drink by eating and drinking, so we partake of Christ and his benefits by faith: and believing in Christ includes these four things, which eating and drinking do:--
First, It implies an appetite to Christ. This spiritual eating and drinking begins with hungering and thirsting (Matt. v. 6), earnest and importunate desires after Christ, not willing to take up with any thing short of an interest in him: "Give me Christ or else I die."
Secondly, An application of Christ to ourselves. Meat looked upon will not nourish us, but meat fed upon, and so made our own, and as it were one with us. We must so accept of Christ as to appropriate him to ourselves: my Lord, and my God, John xx. 28.
Thirdly, A delight in Christ and his salvation. The doctrine of Christ crucified must be meat and drink to us, most pleasant and delightful. We must feast upon the dainties of the New Testament in the blood of Christ, taking as great a complacency in the methods which Infinite Wisdom has taken to redeem and save us as ever we did in the most needful supplies or grateful delights of nature.
Fourthly, A derivation of nourishment from him and a dependence upon him for the support and comfort of our spiritual life, and the strength, growth, and vigour of the new man. To feed upon Christ is to do all in his name, in union with him, and by virtue drawn from him; it is to live upon him as we do upon our meat.
-Matthew Henry Commentary

2010-02-13T02:34:00.002+11:00

hopes dashed are so tragic and create such emotional stress.

hopes lost create zombies.

i forgot all the random thoughts i had.

wells, happy new year.

random updates

2010-01-30T13:41:00.002+11:00

the eye aching from long exposure to the computer screen.
the ear aching from long exposure to the MP3.
the arms aching from long exposure to the keyboard.
the legs aching from lack of exposure to activity.
the soul aching for more exposure to the Sun of Righteousness.

listen to the insects' chorus as they welcome you to the new day of work.
listen to the bird's chirping as the others scamper to enter the mrt doors.
look at that jungle developing due to the lack of canopy cover of a primary forest.
flinch at the picture of the snake that got ran over by a bus before the photographer could take a photo of it.
laugh at my colleague. talk randomness on skype. get lost in the myriad of folders.
strengthen my arms for the neverending cycle of laundry.
will i meet up with people before i leave for melbourne?
my blurness and deafness. will my new 'eye-treatment' exacerbate my situation?
cannot see the menu. cannot lip read. cannot read the signs. but i will survive!

2nd day of 2010, 5th day back in singapore

2010-01-04T00:44:00.002+11:00

i had some important thoughts to put down here but i'm so tired i cannot remember now, so it's randomness time.

it was a torturous 2.5 hours in which i lost half my hair and nearly got all the rest plucked out by the roots. my hair was transformed from a state of frenzied emergency to a state of frenzied non-emergency. it will take a while to get used to.

unknown days ahead continue to loom closer. and i'm still not fully prepared.

Come, my beloved

2009-12-16T15:33:00.003+11:00

Just a closer walk with Thee -
Grant it, Jesus, it’s my plea;
Daily walking close to Thee -
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

I am weak, but Thou art strong -
Jesus, keep me from all wrong;
I’ll be satisfied as long
As I walk, dear Lord, close to Thee.

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares ?
Who with me my burden shares ?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

这是靠我主耶酥基督的圣名祈求。阿门.

a new song, a renewed desire, a sweeter understanding.

come my beloved

2009-12-05T16:01:00.004+11:00

i realise i haven't showed my family how my room looks like so here it is.

just posted my ongoing album: life after uni

special thanks to bowen for the awesome adventure ytd of making my bike first hand and my first ever ride on my bike!

did you know?

2009-11-17T10:38:00.003+11:00

Green and gold have been Australia’s national colours since April 1984.

The golden wattle, Acacia pycnantha, has been Australia’s floral emblem since August 1988.

Many people regard the kangaroo as Australia’s national animal emblem, but it has never been oficially proclaimed.

bixia's place is actually an award-winning architecture > canada hotel redevelopment by hayball

13.11.09 the last day of uni life

2009-11-15T11:17:00.004+11:00

i officially handed in my last two assignments on friday the 13th of november 2009. with a unusually large cup of bad coffee and the opening of the EYES exhibition.

still living in a fast-forward mode due to the coffee, i needed to do something different to end off that day. and i didn't have my piano to entertain myself for the night. so i decided to take my camera for a walk in the city because it has been deprived of nice savoury photos the whole year.

my photos from my site visits for sem 2 is up!

indeed, when i learn to let go, that is when He took it up, and lifted me high up on eagle's wings.
now every day i am just so happy in Him.
sweeter as the days go by.

2009-11-11T22:35:00.002+11:00

melbourne must be the only place where you can choose whether you want to jog at the botanic garden, the zoo or the cemetery.

it is just so beautiful.
that dog was so so happy.
i want to create landscapes that take your breath away.

the first time i saw grevillea robusta in flower. the grevilleas are in flower. i thought they were banksias, and was wondering why are they all red flowers. where are the yellow bristles? i must look closer next time.
the silver birch (betula pendula) is lovely in its old age.
that must be the sugar gum (eucalyptus cladocalyx).
i wonder what kind of grass is that.
oh my, it's time to revise my plants.

2009-11-08T23:55:00.002+11:00

you say that you want to do big things for God. but won't you build that portion of the wall in front of your dwelling first? won't you do small things for Him too?

sometimes you feel so alone. so alone.
like a draft passing through the air,
like a vapour that vanishes,
inconsequential.
you look at the tornado, ferocious.
you look at the seabreeze, refreshing.
you look at the gale, mighty in power.
you look at yourself. stale drafting air.
yet you shouldn't compare, you've been taught.
each has been created to fulfil its own purpose.
but it is so hard, when you're just a useless passing plane of molecules.
not even considered a wind.

the blessings poured in, are they stopped up?
to be spilled and broken, flowing free.
but just a poor flickering flame
in danger of going out with every movement you make
just hanging on, hanging on.

2009-10-18T10:48:00.003+11:00

i marvel at life. i marvel at the feeling of life. i imagine holding a bird in my hand, feeling it alive - its heaving breast, its soft ruffly feathers, its comforting warmth. birds are such wonderful little things. and i love it when they chirp and sing.

is it true that guys can stare into space and go blank but girls can't? i thought i used to be able to do that. when i'm facing the sea. just listening to the waves crashing against the shores. just feeling the breeze in my hair. just tasting the saltiness of the wind on my skin. what happened to me? why am i always so intense, always in a hurry? stop believing the lie. maybe i need a trip to the sea very badly.

give me
the strength to live,
the courage to love,
the grace to give,
the heart to serve.

virus quarantined

2009-10-16T23:06:00.002+11:00

Herpes zoster, also known as shingles, is caused by the same virus as chickenpox. The virus remains in the nerves and is reactivated by illness or stress (basically lowered immune system). You can't 'catch' shingles. It is a recurrence of the virus in your body. However, it can cause someone who hasn't had chicken pox to have chicken pox.

For this reason I moved back to our old apartment to be quarantined for a week. Though it wasn't nice to have the sore, the burning sensation, the numbness, I was thankful for this week of real break for me. Since this semester started, it's just been a long battle for me, fraught with housing and neighbours-related difficulties. Finally, nobody can touch me! in confinement, but actually, the most free i've ever felt for a long while.

a time for physical refreshment. so well-rested i got a headache. i have been sleeping but not well rested.
a time for psychological refreshment. to clear my head and think through issues. i have just been rushing about doing too many things.
a time for spiritual refreshment. as the storm clouds pass away i am satisfied with His goodness and amazed at His deliverance. there is no rush of passion and joy, but there's the sweet acknowledgement of a hope i clinged on to and fulfilled. He is faithful. let me not doubt, let me not fear.
a time to learn to be abased. to receive freely, with gladness, with simplicity.
a time to restore my connections.

time for some randomness:
i've been consuming more than usual amounts of citrus fruits (which are making really lovely smells in the cupboard) and since the trash is all just my leftovers now, it was starting to smell like it would make some wonderful compost. after reading so much about growing tomato from garbage it is so tempting to do it! ah if only i've got a garden and all the time in the world (and the right season). i even thought of digging a hole in drummond's garden for them to throw their food scraps, and probably chuck in some worms too to party and make themselves at home;) would be quite fun to have some messing around. would be more fun to be able to grow some massive plant out of garbage!

my back is starting to hurt from sitting down too much. i realise i really like the sun in my old place. to be able to wake up to the light. to be able to say 'oh, it's sunny today'. to watch the sunlight warm up the living area. however, i find it so hard to sleep. i wonder why.

anyways, the virus should be dead by now so i'm going to break out tomorrow! some fresh air finally! and weather forecast is looking awesome for the next week! my favourite 20+ deg :D